Still Breathing Red

Day by day, I live with regret
And with every single breath, I feel the cancer spread.
Pushing it deeper and deeper into my lungs,
Can feel it laughing, dancing, killing on the tip of my tongue.
So tell me - why do the good die young, and why am I still here?
Please give me a reason because I can't seem to see the way this catastrophe is playing its game with me.

While the good ones are gone, (and) my inspiration's dead
I am still here, still fucking it all up, and still breathing red
Although I've lost my will, although I've lost my way
This scars will shape me anew, cleanse me of all my dismay.

I am inhaling the cancer, and with it all of my inherited guilt.

If it wouldn't be for you, I would have drowned in the lake of terror long ago
A sea of dead - a sinking cockleshell
a flooded mind - a brief glimpse of hell.
Mother of Dreams, again it is I daring to speak
Will I nevermore surpass, will I nevermore see
Your graceful countenance, your realm of dreams?
Feels like I am passing away at the sound of their screams...

Their screams, their symphonies
Melodies beyond all hope for redemption and remedy
While I descend into the shallows, I exhale one last time...
...and they are all mine.
While the souls are singing, the Choir's circular canon is changing to screaming
And while the good ones are gone, my inspiration's dead
I'm fulfilled, wide awake, still here, breathing red.
My inside is changing and swinging, constantly degenerating into a malignancy
The worlds within me are caving me, caving in and craving for the ghost of her.

She never, she never opened her eyes again.
She never witnessed the decay of her beloved man.
She never, she never opened her eyes again.
She never had to see him igniting his skin in vain.
She never witnessed how the cancer spread, she never witnessed him breathing fucking red.

With every breath, I feel the cancer spread
Pushing it deeper and deeper into my lungs,
Can feel it laughing, dancing, killing on the tip of my tongue.
So tell me - why do the good die young, and why am I still here?
Please give me a reason because I can't seem to see the way this catastrophe is playing its game with me.