Of Hopes and Dreams

Every once in a while, I realize:
All that "I'm-over-it"-bullshit I'm trying to tell myself's a lie
And everytime it rips my heart apart a little more than before,
So I deny it, and wave goodbye to you another time.
Though I keep telling myself, that it would be the last time,
I can never, ever, let go of the prudish line that is my memory.
Will there ever be a remedy to my eternal self-consumption?
And though I stopped believing in redemption long ago,
I never bow my head, I never let it take control of me,
I just, I just submerge for a second; inhale your face, your eyes, your hair, your smile.

Ours may be to read the signs
Ours may be the stars to align
But I choose, I chose long ago
My own path as long as I live this life.

Instead of just giving up, instead of giving in to it
I let the beauty of the past wash away the pain of the present,
Just, just for one second; I touch your face, kiss your lips, hold your hand and then
Succumb to the reality again, I fucked it up beyond all hope of amendment
Well, I guess that's just the way it works, this game of hard decisions.
I'd just like you to know, that I'll never let go, I'd never pull back my hand
If you'd need me to help you with whatever it was,
This is no love song, just a promise to never give up.

Ours is, to read the signs
Ours are the stars to align
But I'll turn around and dig a deep hole instead
Just to prove that my decision's not just a phantom in my head.

This may be the last time I wave goodbye to you
Or maybe not, I'll never know if I don't give it another try.